It was 7th period. Home economics.
It was my first year in Junior High, and my first year to understand what love really meant -- It took the form of a red-foil heart shaped balloon.
A club set up a booth in the cafeteria for the week with balloons for purchase. You could purchase said balloon and delivery for a set fee - minimal - compared to the extravagance of delivering something so earth-shattering to the one you love.
I had all of these hopes and expectations that a secret love interest would reveal himself to me during 7th period to the tune of a red hear balloon.
Alas, the day arrived. Friday - Valentine's Day.
Whilst learning how to make a pancake (I'm sure...), balloons began to arrive at the door. It was a knock and then a creek of the door and then a name and then a balloon appeared. The teacher would slowly walk the balloon to the recipient. Here I was -- Waiting. Patiently - for my moment. Knock after knock. Mind you, the club was not organized enough to deliver all balloons at one time. Nope. It just delayed the inevitable with each knock. There was no secret love. There was no balloon. The bell rang.
For the heart of a seventh grade girl with all her hopes and dreams pinned on this balloon, well, it was quite devastating. I laugh about that day now, but I realize how tender my heart was for acceptance and love of a fella at a very young age. Looking back I see how God's grace kept me. He showed me early on that His love was not in the form of a balloon that would deflate but was in the form of His Son coming and dying for me.
Oh how thankful I am that I don't have to worry about red hearted shaped balloons anymore. I don't want to revisit that day again. The complex is real, y'all.
Happy Valentine's Day!!
A Treadmill and A Cloud and Staying
Wednesday, February 12, 2020
The dwelling of the Lord - Numbers 9
Yesterday, while running on the treadmill I came to Numbers 9 in my chronological reading of the Bible. Yes, I was running and reading. I do it quite well, actually. After a list of duties and camp assignments for each of the tribes of Israel, we come to a few verses describing God's direction and dwelling over the Tent of Meeting.
Numbers 9: 15-ff explains the dwelling of the Lord will be in the form of a cloud by day and fire by night over the Tent of Meeting. If the Israelites are to remain in a particular location, the cloud remains. When they are to move, the cloud is raised. This is a sign to the Israelite community that God would have them move to the next location. They may remain in one spot for a few hours, weeks, or months. However, they would not move until the cloud was lifted. This was God's direction.
I began to think, while running (now that can be quite dangerous), about how I have always been rather antsy to move on to the next thing. I would so much say it is a "grass is greener on the other side-type-view" but rather an acknowledgment that the current location isn't permanent.
College was 4.5 years. Seminary was a guaranteed 3 years, albeit I stayed WAY longer in Raleigh than I ever intended. West Point was a set 2 years. And here was are in MS. The Israelites were not to move until the Lord led them somewhere else. Ya'll this has been the entire second half of my life. Not the waiting.. but the wrestling of what is next.
Why is it that we wrestle God for the next thing? We may not have a visible cloud telling us "hey, this is it. This is where I have you," but we do have His Spirit within us. I was challenged by the cloud of God's presence on many levels:
1) God was with them and hadn't left; God is with me and hasn't left.
2) Remaining is obedience. Not wrestling.
3) God wanted to be with them -- and me -- and you.
4) It is in the staying, though we are still waiting for His next direction, that we continue to grow closer to the ones He has put around us. And thus,
5) "Where you are.. be all there." I do believe Jim Elliot said it best.
This is nothing profound I assure you. But this is how God uses a treadmill and scripture to speak to an often hard heart.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
